[ It's a necessary evil, but he realizes he's had to go about it the other way for so long — making friends with total strangers and hoping that he can rely on them eventually when the time comes — that the thought of getting to have it like this, something that doesn't even require that much thinking on his part in order to decide, felt too good to be true. Maybe that's part of why he hadn't broached the subject between them right away, because he hadn't wanted to necessarily get his hopes up on the off-chance that Poe wouldn't want this kind of arrangement. In the past, the contracts he's always been in have involved people he cares about, but he didn't want to make that assumption again.
But it also doesn't have to be anything than what they make it, whether they want to equip more of the requirements that a contract encourages or make it something in name only just to get LIEs off their backs — and that's all something they can work out together, much later, when they're not actively stumbling in the direction of the office while stealing kisses along the way.
It takes slipping through the door, not to mention the removal of his shirt, before they get around to saying anything else and for a minute Finn just looks at him with a slow tilt of his head, reaching out to slip his own hands beneath the open halves of Poe's jacket so he can nudge it back over his shoulders as he steps in to drop his lips to the side of Poe's neck, humming lightly. ]
So you didn't want to talk about it. [ He hides a smile, nuzzles a spot along Poe's throat and then kisses up the underside of his chin, making his way back up to the other man's mouth. ] Because not talking about it always helps.
[ The warm lips pressing against his neck are a distraction, one that has Poe tipping his head back with an approving sigh, though not so much of one that he can't pull Finn over to that cot propped against the back wall. He's grateful that it's stronger than it looks, and not for the first time, as he shrugs his arms out of his jacket, tossing it in the direction of the desk before he's tugging Finn down with him, into his lap without actually breaking the kiss that temporarily pauses the conversation entirely. It feels good, kissing Finn like this, letting all those emotions just roll into it. Not that he wasn't doing that before too, it's just different now that those nagging uncertainties have melted away.
He was half expecting another scolding, honestly, if a gentle one, over not telling Finn about these things when they were obviously wearing him down. But in this particular case they were both avoiding the issue for their own reasons, as irrational as they might have been, and now that he's actually saying these things out loud it's obvious that they're not worth getting worked up over. Especially not now, now that everything feels like it's falling into place for them against seemingly impossible odds. ]
I want you to be happy. [ He's still kissing and sucking on Finn's lower lip in between murmured words, still torn between wanting to get all of this out and focusing on what his hands are doing. Which currently involves skimming across Finn's shoulders, gradually sliding down his back. ] I always have. So if that made you happy, I'd find a way to live with it.
[ Which is more or less the potential arrangement he was expecting to happen with Rey, so it wasn't like those thoughts were new to him. They were just a lot harder to swallow after realizing just how hard he'd fallen for Finn in ways that weren't platonic at all. ]
You deserve that. [ He slips his hands back up to cup Finn's face between them. ] To be happy. To be with people who love you. I could never take any of that away from you.
[ There's still the necessary third component, the separate conversation that needs to happen whether they're all a part of it or not, and that's going to be a loop he'll want to close sooner rather than later, but right now, Finn's having a hard time envisioning being any happier than he is with the knowledge that the two people he cares about — loves — most are here with him in a way they haven't always been, not all together like this.
But even if it's easy for him to jokingly rib Poe about not bringing it all up until right now, it also comes out a lot more non-seriously when he's being drawn onto that creaking cot, settling into a casual straddle across Poe's thighs with his knees bracketing in at the other man's hips. ]
I am happy. This. Right here, is what makes me happy. You're a part of that. [ Just like Rey is, and he doesn't think he needs to launch into that set of specifics in order to make it clear, but he's also having a hard time keeping track of his words when Poe's kissing him like that, something that rises in heat and intensity and makes him forget his train of thought as he surges in to kiss the other man back.
Well, he's trying to, but then Poe's withdrawing to say something and Finn wants to make sure he's paying close attention, his hands shifting to grip around Poe's wrists until he can feel the strength of his pulse beneath his thumbs. ] Sure, but taking that away would mean removing yourself from the situation, and you know I was never going to let that happen.
[ There's a lot Poe could say about it. That people do crazy things when they're in love. That every other time that a missing love has come back into the picture it meant that he was relegated back to strictly friend status, if that. But he never expected Finn to cut him out of his life, no matter how he felt about Rey or Rose or anyone else. He just... figured that they would be friends. Good friends. Very close. That would have sounded a lot more realistic before though, before he kissed Finn and everything about his expectations changed irrevocably. It had been there all along, sure, but it was different when he threw all caution to the wind and embraced it.
There's no point in dredging up old flames that ended suddenly right now. None of that is really important anyway. He's already confessed that this is unlike anything he's had before, it wouldn't make sense to compare it to any of that. Especially not when he would rather drop his hands to unbutton Finn's pants and work them down as far as he can manage with a certain lack of patience that might be notable even by their standards.
It would be enough to touch him and kiss him, just having him right here, warm and heavy in his lap and happy most of all. But some part of him also wants to slot their bodies together as close and as intimately as they can manage, and now that they're close that desire hits him with a sort of sharp intensity that he wasn't expecting. ]
You wouldn't get rid of me that easily. Regardless of what you want to do with me, I'm not going anywhere.
[ It's a complicated subject, the fact that he has enough room in his heart for more than one person and he doesn't expect that it's going to get any easier right away even if he has been able to give a name to it, acknowledge that this is what he's feeling. It's new and intense and a little overwhelming and he doesn't necessarily know how it came on so fast, but he also knows he wouldn't change the trajectory they'd taken for anything.
And there's a lot they still need to talk about, but it almost feels like they've gotten the hardest part of it out of the way, just being honest about what this means, about what they want, and the rest will slot into place like it's meant to. That's his hope, and he doesn't know if he's being naive or if they've just given him more reason to believe it by being here with him; he knows he wouldn't have had the same kind of optimism if neither of them had showed up at all, and that's just a fact.
He chuckles quietly as Poe tries to get his pants off, but there's only so far he can manage it without forcing him to get off his lap right away, and he's not necessarily inclined to do that, but what he will do is slowly tip them back against the bed so that he's stretched over the other man's body, aligning their hips with a soft intake of breath. ]
You're definitely not going anywhere now. [ And he punctuates that last word with another slow, deliberate roll. ]
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no subject
But it also doesn't have to be anything than what they make it, whether they want to equip more of the requirements that a contract encourages or make it something in name only just to get LIEs off their backs — and that's all something they can work out together, much later, when they're not actively stumbling in the direction of the office while stealing kisses along the way.
It takes slipping through the door, not to mention the removal of his shirt, before they get around to saying anything else and for a minute Finn just looks at him with a slow tilt of his head, reaching out to slip his own hands beneath the open halves of Poe's jacket so he can nudge it back over his shoulders as he steps in to drop his lips to the side of Poe's neck, humming lightly. ]
So you didn't want to talk about it. [ He hides a smile, nuzzles a spot along Poe's throat and then kisses up the underside of his chin, making his way back up to the other man's mouth. ] Because not talking about it always helps.
no subject
He was half expecting another scolding, honestly, if a gentle one, over not telling Finn about these things when they were obviously wearing him down. But in this particular case they were both avoiding the issue for their own reasons, as irrational as they might have been, and now that he's actually saying these things out loud it's obvious that they're not worth getting worked up over. Especially not now, now that everything feels like it's falling into place for them against seemingly impossible odds. ]
I want you to be happy. [ He's still kissing and sucking on Finn's lower lip in between murmured words, still torn between wanting to get all of this out and focusing on what his hands are doing. Which currently involves skimming across Finn's shoulders, gradually sliding down his back. ] I always have. So if that made you happy, I'd find a way to live with it.
[ Which is more or less the potential arrangement he was expecting to happen with Rey, so it wasn't like those thoughts were new to him. They were just a lot harder to swallow after realizing just how hard he'd fallen for Finn in ways that weren't platonic at all. ]
You deserve that. [ He slips his hands back up to cup Finn's face between them. ] To be happy. To be with people who love you. I could never take any of that away from you.
no subject
But even if it's easy for him to jokingly rib Poe about not bringing it all up until right now, it also comes out a lot more non-seriously when he's being drawn onto that creaking cot, settling into a casual straddle across Poe's thighs with his knees bracketing in at the other man's hips. ]
I am happy. This. Right here, is what makes me happy. You're a part of that. [ Just like Rey is, and he doesn't think he needs to launch into that set of specifics in order to make it clear, but he's also having a hard time keeping track of his words when Poe's kissing him like that, something that rises in heat and intensity and makes him forget his train of thought as he surges in to kiss the other man back.
Well, he's trying to, but then Poe's withdrawing to say something and Finn wants to make sure he's paying close attention, his hands shifting to grip around Poe's wrists until he can feel the strength of his pulse beneath his thumbs. ] Sure, but taking that away would mean removing yourself from the situation, and you know I was never going to let that happen.
no subject
There's no point in dredging up old flames that ended suddenly right now. None of that is really important anyway. He's already confessed that this is unlike anything he's had before, it wouldn't make sense to compare it to any of that. Especially not when he would rather drop his hands to unbutton Finn's pants and work them down as far as he can manage with a certain lack of patience that might be notable even by their standards.
It would be enough to touch him and kiss him, just having him right here, warm and heavy in his lap and happy most of all. But some part of him also wants to slot their bodies together as close and as intimately as they can manage, and now that they're close that desire hits him with a sort of sharp intensity that he wasn't expecting. ]
You wouldn't get rid of me that easily. Regardless of what you want to do with me, I'm not going anywhere.
[ Definitely not now. ]
no subject
And there's a lot they still need to talk about, but it almost feels like they've gotten the hardest part of it out of the way, just being honest about what this means, about what they want, and the rest will slot into place like it's meant to. That's his hope, and he doesn't know if he's being naive or if they've just given him more reason to believe it by being here with him; he knows he wouldn't have had the same kind of optimism if neither of them had showed up at all, and that's just a fact.
He chuckles quietly as Poe tries to get his pants off, but there's only so far he can manage it without forcing him to get off his lap right away, and he's not necessarily inclined to do that, but what he will do is slowly tip them back against the bed so that he's stretched over the other man's body, aligning their hips with a soft intake of breath. ]
You're definitely not going anywhere now. [ And he punctuates that last word with another slow, deliberate roll. ]