[ Seeing the look on Finn's face makes it difficult to remember why it's so important to tell him this in the first place. Poe has to remind himself, again, of how he would feel if their positions were reversed. He wouldn't want Finn to have to deal with it on his own, and even if he wanted to write all of that off as a bad dream, it happened. He might not even be the only one who remembers it. It's probably likely that at least a few people in the Down will recognize Finn's face now after the very public spectacle they made out of that confrontation. But at least it hadn't been in one of the Up neighborhoods, where that kind of flagrant attack on a Dominant wouldn't go unreported. As it is, he figures Finn might be getting some odd looks from strangers on the street, at the very least.
He also wonders, considering Finn's tone, if he's feeling a bit of the same kind of thing that he felt when he realized that he's been here before. Thinking too much about alternate timelines and different universes still gives him a headache, but it did boil down to an unease over the whole thing. And that had been with a different 'him' who seemed normal.
This is different. ]
Yeah. We didn't get along very well.
[ His tone is dry, it's obviously that he's not intentionally trying to downplay it. This is the kind of 'not getting along' that he would use in reference to the likes of the First Order. Which, yeah, not a coincidence. He's propped up on an elbow to face Finn now, settling his hand lightly against Finn's cheek, fingers splayed out across his jaw. He hates this, but he definitely can't leave it there now. ]
Finn, I don't know how any of this happened or why, but you should know that he might have had your face, but he wasn't you. I mean, not even in some kind of weird 'we never escaped from the First Order' way. He was... [ And there's another sigh, frustration at trying to find the right words. ] He was just a different person who happened to look like you, and nothing that he did here is your fault.
[ Does he need to mention how deeply disturbing it was to deal with someone so cold with what looked like the same face he's touching fondly now? Maybe not. ]
[ And as reluctant as he is to tear himself away from all of this, the comfort that he feels from even just getting to touch and be touched — it's a simple thing and one that most people probably don't even think about, but something he'd gone without for so long throughout most of his life and now doesn't take for granted any time he gets to have it — he's still sitting up to mull over everything Poe's saying to him right now, drawing his knees up toward himself and resting his forearms on them. ]
Part of me knows that what everything you're saying has got to be true, but then — he was me. I felt it from him, on the other side, when I knew what I had to do in order to get out. He's... if I made one decision, or even a handful of decisions, any differently than I did. I could've been him.
[ And that's what unnerves him most of all, the fact that the scales could have tipped in the opposite direction at any time and he could have become the person who never escaped from all of that. It's an unsettling thought to have, especially when he realizes that this doppelganger, this other version of himself, encountered Poe to some degree. With a jerk, he turns to face the other man. ]
Did he hurt you? He didn't — if anything happened to you and I wasn't here to stop it — [ The apology is already in his expression, even if he's not saying it out loud just yet. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He also wonders, considering Finn's tone, if he's feeling a bit of the same kind of thing that he felt when he realized that he's been here before. Thinking too much about alternate timelines and different universes still gives him a headache, but it did boil down to an unease over the whole thing. And that had been with a different 'him' who seemed normal.
This is different. ]
Yeah. We didn't get along very well.
[ His tone is dry, it's obviously that he's not intentionally trying to downplay it. This is the kind of 'not getting along' that he would use in reference to the likes of the First Order. Which, yeah, not a coincidence. He's propped up on an elbow to face Finn now, settling his hand lightly against Finn's cheek, fingers splayed out across his jaw. He hates this, but he definitely can't leave it there now. ]
Finn, I don't know how any of this happened or why, but you should know that he might have had your face, but he wasn't you. I mean, not even in some kind of weird 'we never escaped from the First Order' way. He was... [ And there's another sigh, frustration at trying to find the right words. ] He was just a different person who happened to look like you, and nothing that he did here is your fault.
[ Does he need to mention how deeply disturbing it was to deal with someone so cold with what looked like the same face he's touching fondly now? Maybe not. ]
no subject
[ And as reluctant as he is to tear himself away from all of this, the comfort that he feels from even just getting to touch and be touched — it's a simple thing and one that most people probably don't even think about, but something he'd gone without for so long throughout most of his life and now doesn't take for granted any time he gets to have it — he's still sitting up to mull over everything Poe's saying to him right now, drawing his knees up toward himself and resting his forearms on them. ]
Part of me knows that what everything you're saying has got to be true, but then — he was me. I felt it from him, on the other side, when I knew what I had to do in order to get out. He's... if I made one decision, or even a handful of decisions, any differently than I did. I could've been him.
[ And that's what unnerves him most of all, the fact that the scales could have tipped in the opposite direction at any time and he could have become the person who never escaped from all of that. It's an unsettling thought to have, especially when he realizes that this doppelganger, this other version of himself, encountered Poe to some degree. With a jerk, he turns to face the other man. ]
Did he hurt you? He didn't — if anything happened to you and I wasn't here to stop it — [ The apology is already in his expression, even if he's not saying it out loud just yet. ]